Lately I’ve been concerned about how much gunk may or may not remain on the Hawklets’ teeth after they’re “brushed.” It just doesn’t seem possible that they’re ever truly “clean” and after several wrestling matches, where I’m cradling a Hawklet in a half nelson with one arm, toothbrush positioned in front of his sealed lips in my other hand, trying to persuade him to sing “E-I-E-I-O” ( the best thing I could think of that requires them to flash their teeth, at least every other letter), it’s easy to conclude that, yes: there has got.to.be.a.better.way.
Either that or I resign to the assumption that their teeth are still too new to start rotting already and surely there is some built in protection against cavities in such new teeth? Surely?
I mean really. What DID those cave babies do?
So last weekend I took a tip from Mimi. I got battery-powered spinning toothbrushes with awesome characters on them that are plaque fighters and make cool motor sounds and have on and off buttons!!
It worked too well, in fact.
Now, I cannot get them to stop brushing their teeth. I am reminded of a book called The Wish Giver I read in elementary school in which a boy wishes to “put down roots” and starts to turn into a tree. Wish granted! You want toothbrushing children? Sure thing – how about they do nothing but brush their teeth! Problem solved!
They can’t bear to leave the toothbrushes in the bathroom. They brushed their teeth all over the house that first day. They put their toothbrushes inside their cars and drove them around. They rinsed them in every sink in our house – these new beloved toys called TOOTHBRUSHES.
Reid spin-brushed the inside of his ear. Eeeww.
“NO MOMMY, I’m NOT DONE BRUSHING MY TEEEEETH!” Graham screamed when I had the audacity to try to wrap things up. “I NEED MORE TOOTHPASTE! I NEED TO BRUSH THE FRONTS! I NEED TO SLEEP WITH MY TOOTHBRUSH!”
I explained that we leave toothbrushes in the bathroom by the sink. I assured him the very first thing he could do in the morning – just as soon as he opened his little eyes – was brush his teeth. That his toothbrush would be in the same spot where he left it, anxiously awaiting his next use.
This just wasn’t reassuring at all. Because when so deeply in love, nothing really can alleviate the pain of separation.
“BUT I NEED MY TOOTHBRUSH. I LOOOOOOVE MY TOOOOOOOTHBRUUUUUSH!” he sobbed.
It’s an expression of love I haven’t seen before. For the battery-powered spinning toothbrush. If only I could bottle even a bit of that passion and sprinkle it on myself in the monotony of day-to-day life. Like when I’m Swiffering or driving to work or, well …
Brushing my teeth.