Conversations with 5- and almost 4-year olds

Graham: "What do we love?"

Reid: "Christmas?"

Graham: "No! We love bobcat cheerleaders!"

Me: WTH?

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Graham: "Joey said I could be friends with him if I stopped beating up Johnny, but I've been beating up Johnny for yeeears!"

Me: WTH?

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Reid: "I got a boo-boo at Mimi's house so she put peas on it."

Me: "Frozen peas, huh?"

Reid: "Yes, so I need to go in the microwave!"

Graham: "Reid, you can't go in the microwave because then you wouldn't have bones or muscles and that would make you sloppy."

Me: Again, WTH?

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Reid: "Mommy, bubby broke my car and then he said, 'Hardy har!' and so he can't be my friend anymore. He can't say, 'Hardy har!' to me!"

Me: Nope, nothing surprises me anymore.